Monday, July 19, 2004
Letting go
I have made a conscious decision to let go and just live. I am going to try to control my mad impulse to control the universe and the people around me. The negative energy created by my frustration (because who could possibly do and be everything I want?) can't be good for me or for anybody around me.
This means that I will have to live with fear and uncertainty, but when have I not lived with these two companions quivering on my shoulders? I will just have to try and embrace and express the better part of myself: the one who has faith.
Right now as I type this my sweet little loaf of bread is dozing on my lap, all rolls and softness with black eyelashes resting on the tops of her downy cheeks. She is the picture of sweet contentment. So why shouldn't I be content too? Haven't I got what most people want (except money)?
Time to loosen my imaginary strangehold on this life. Time to float and see where the river takes me.
I have made a conscious decision to let go and just live. I am going to try to control my mad impulse to control the universe and the people around me. The negative energy created by my frustration (because who could possibly do and be everything I want?) can't be good for me or for anybody around me.
This means that I will have to live with fear and uncertainty, but when have I not lived with these two companions quivering on my shoulders? I will just have to try and embrace and express the better part of myself: the one who has faith.
Right now as I type this my sweet little loaf of bread is dozing on my lap, all rolls and softness with black eyelashes resting on the tops of her downy cheeks. She is the picture of sweet contentment. So why shouldn't I be content too? Haven't I got what most people want (except money)?
Time to loosen my imaginary strangehold on this life. Time to float and see where the river takes me.
Monday, July 12, 2004
Heh-heh
Hoo boy! I'm really not blogging much, am I? Well, it'll get better, I promise (or at least more frequent). The past couple of weeks have been good but tiring. The baby is settling into an acceptable routine and she is calmer and happier every day. She sleeps pretty much all morning, so I have a bit of time for housework and fun with my older ones.
Our finances are the pits lately, however, a fact that makes us very worried and stressed, which is not a state conducive to summer fun. The livin' might be easy, but earning a livin' ain't, at least not for my hubby.
The kids and I went to my sister's place in the Laurentians for a few days. The kids had a wonderful time, but I underestimated the difficulty of being without my co-parent. IT was tough, as the baby was out of sorts and very needy and even colicky in the evenings (which is hellish, I now understand). We came back one day early and the baby is fine and not colicky at all now.
Whoops, speak of the divil, as my mom used to say (apparently you can't say devil in that context). I'd better go and fetch my wee bairn. I'll check in again soon!
Hoo boy! I'm really not blogging much, am I? Well, it'll get better, I promise (or at least more frequent). The past couple of weeks have been good but tiring. The baby is settling into an acceptable routine and she is calmer and happier every day. She sleeps pretty much all morning, so I have a bit of time for housework and fun with my older ones.
Our finances are the pits lately, however, a fact that makes us very worried and stressed, which is not a state conducive to summer fun. The livin' might be easy, but earning a livin' ain't, at least not for my hubby.
The kids and I went to my sister's place in the Laurentians for a few days. The kids had a wonderful time, but I underestimated the difficulty of being without my co-parent. IT was tough, as the baby was out of sorts and very needy and even colicky in the evenings (which is hellish, I now understand). We came back one day early and the baby is fine and not colicky at all now.
Whoops, speak of the divil, as my mom used to say (apparently you can't say devil in that context). I'd better go and fetch my wee bairn. I'll check in again soon!
