Me, me, me

Could this be love?

When I touch the smoothness of your keys, my fingertips tell my heart to sing.
When I look upon your sleek silvery skin, my own skin tingles to caress you.
You respond to my every touch with quiet excitement that tells me you were just waiting for me to open you up.

And when I gaze into your bright blue eye, I know you're as turned on as I am.

Come. My lap awaits.

Gearing Up

If I'm gonna be a freelance writer, I've got to upgrade my hardware and my internet connection.

I swallowed my bile and ordered high-speed from Bell, despite my utter hatred for the way they've treated me in the past, not to mention the $10 delivery fee (!) and the wait of 5 working days (!) to get the friggin' software. I'm giving them my business and they're charging me an abitrary amount to send something to me by regular post. Nice service, you fuckers. (Not you fuckers, those fuckers -- at Bell)

I am also going tomorrow to buy a laptop. I have no money and must go into debt to do this, but a new computer is long overdue and I'll make it back in work and write it off as a business expense, or some of it anyway.

I'm wading in to the waters of high technology. Wish me luck! I'm still holding out against the cell phone, though. It would take a lot of convincing to get me there.

Facing the Music

Well, it has to be done. I must get myself a bathing suit.

I go to the pool every day with my kids, and sit by the side of said pool, fully dressed, dangling my feet in the beautiful cool blue water. I get up and my ass is soaking wet and my skirt (it's usually a skirt) is all baggy and out of shape. (Or is it my skirt that's wet and my ass that's out of shape? Six of one, half a dozen bla bla bla...)

The other day I decided to wear an old suit that I found in a drawer and go in with the baby. We had so much fun and she giggled madly as I spun her around and plunked her in the water repeatedly. But then the time came to get out of the pool and lo, I suddenly remembered why I had buried that bathing suit in my underwear drawer. It becomes transparent when wet -- an interesting feature in a bathing suit!

I calmly faded back into the water and sent my big daughter to get me a towel in which to wrap my shame.

Now I must face the sullen insults of the changing room mirrors and try on bathing suits in an actual store. As our long-gone comic-strip friend Cathy used to say:

**sweats profusely ** "Gack!"

Misc

Watched a good film last night: I Heart Huckabees. Have you seen it? I've been curious about it since it came out, but only got to it because D. brought it home to watch while I was at Mamma Mia. He liked it so much he watched it again with me. I laughed out loud quite a few times, which is rare enough, but I really enjoyed some of the performances, particularly those of Lily Tomlin (and I don't worship her) and Dustin Hofmann (who I tend to think is overrated). Jude Law always leaves me cold. Marky Mark was awesome, as always. I love that manly man.

Mamma Mia was a lot of fun. I got picked up in a limo, with my mom and 3 of my sisters inside. We went down to PDA and, since we were early, went for a couple of pitchers at a seedy nearby brasserie that I love. Classy broads, eh? We were all dressed to the nines and I had had my hair done, so I felt pretty glam. The show itself was fun to watch, but much less professional than I expected and, well, badly choreographed and the sound was bad. It was not far from an amateur production and I would have been sorely disappointed if I had paid for my own ticket; they're very pricey! And really, for that price, I think one guy on a keyboard is a bit of a rip-off, musically.

However, we had a blast, and the curtain calls had everyone on their feet dancing. They should do a whole show of those numbers!

There is nothing like having a limo to pick you up and take you home on a night out. I've always said that if I ever have the money to hire staff, a driver would be my first hire. That fantastical assertion was confirmed on Saturday night.

Last but not least: I got a freelance contract! I got the call on Friday and went to sign the contract yesterday. It's with a very big, reputable outfit and the job is right up my artsy-fartsy alley. It honestly couldn't be better. The money's very good and there's a potential for more work if this goes well. Hooray! Sitting around on my ass has paid off! (Not true: I had hustled for this work about 3 weeks ago. It just took a while to happen.) Much love to my friend at work who talked me up to the woman who hired me. I'm very grateful to SG!

Warning: Baby Post

I know, I know. But if people can blog about their cats, I can be permitted the occasional post about my own flesh and blood, right?

She's pretty hilarious these days, making me laugh with her uncanny resemblance (in gestures and sounds) to a chimp. She sort of extends her neck to look at things and says "Ooo-ooo" a lot, and laughs and smacks things (until I tell her to be gentle, when she awkwardly strokes those same things, like flowers or her brother's hair, or an orange). She follows ants around, saying "Oooooo!", trying to poke them with her little index finger.

I'm amazed at her speech. Her vocabulary is very impressive now, and every now and then she'll come out with a new word, perfectly pronounced. Last evening she said "Tee-ger" when looking at a glass with Tigger on it. Strangely, most of the time she will then incorproate that same word into her vocabulary, but might never pronounce it so perfectly again. That's what she did with "birdy". Now it doesn't sound like birdy at all, but I know what she means. She calls herself "Na-na".

She gets less shy as time goes by, and she even likes to make strangers laugh. She's a joker, like her siblings (and her parents) and she also eats like a little hog, so i'd say she's fitting in well with this family. I'm glad she decided to join us.

The Big Snooze, in a Good Way

I know I should be hustling for freelance work, or at least helping my very generous friend to get started on my web site, but damn it's nice to spend some easy summer time. I actually did the crossword this morning and had a little snooze on my favourite armchair, the sheer curtains caressing my ankles as they moved in the breeze. I don't know why I don't feel guilty; we have no money and I have no real prospects at the moment. But I have certain periods in the yearly round where I get really active and ambitious, and this just ain't one of those times! Next week I'll start pounding the metaphorical pavement.

But first: Mamma Mia on Saturday night with my mom and sisters. WOOOT!

A couple of film reviews for yuz...

The Life Aquatic
I love Wes Anderson films; I've seen every one and appreciated their wit and truth and humour and precision. Each one is so different, but his exploration of certain themes travels through them all. This one is the most explicit story of a young man looking for a hero in his father, and of the father whose magnetic personality and larger-than-life persona cannot hide his shortcomings as a moral and emotional being.

Bill Murray and Owen Wilson play the father and son, and both do a beautiful job of playing against type: Murray is the mysteriously driven force of nature Steve Zissou, whose underwater exploration and filmmaking may have come to a sorry end. Wilson plays a straight-edge officer and gentleman, who gives up his normal life to subsume his pain in the pursuit of an heroic destiny with the man who may be his natural father.

The film is a treat; the visual feast of strange underwater shots and the cutaway boat remind me of a child's fantasy. There are some funny and surprising action sequences as well as the usual Wes Anderson quiet evolutions of complex relationships in smart (but not too self-aware) dialogue.

Full disclosure: Even if I had hated everything else about this movie, I would still recommend it, because the soundtrack is almost all Bowie and amazing Bowie covers. Bowie means so much to me I can't even begin to say. We bought the CD on the weekend.

Elephant Shoes
We watched this because a friend did the sound and lighting for it. It's a made-in-Montreal-on-a-shoestring film about a 12-hour love affair. Only 2 actors -- they meet on the street and about half an hour later they're f**ing in the guy's kitchen and he says "Oh my god I love you" when they're done. They agree not to fall in love and do anyway, in a series of cute-ish scenes that are meant to convince us the two are made for each other.

It's surprisingly good. I expected to hate it and I didn't. The actors have chemistry (I think they're married in real life), and the writing is good, although a couple of scenes made me say "Oh, come on!! Who would do that?". Some of what makes them fall in love could only occur between actors, like reading a scene from Streetcar together, or singing and dancing around on the bed after sex. Ever heard of inhibitions, people? Like I said, actors. Fenh. All in all, worth a look, if only for the way it captures some of Montreal's essence.

The Annals of Summer, Part the First

Day Camp has resulted in heat stroke in my daughter, who has spent the last 3 days with a high fever and splitting headache -- Cheers for overcast skies and cool breezes! Jeers to hyperactive camp cousellors who drive children like donkeys: "Play, you lazy pieces of shit! Play!!!"

Any time there is a spray of water directed upward, a child will come and sit upon it, so that the water shoots up his/her arse. A kid did this naked at the wading pool yesterday and the thought of the bacteria exchange going on gave me the willies.

My baby likes to crawl around on the pool deck, which is made of scratchy concrete, and drink from the various bacteria-filled, warm puddles she finds, in between snacks of the tiny pebbles she finds.

Extreme heat puts a damper on summer lovin'. I seem to remember a time when hubby's sweaty skin made me weak in the knees.

New, summery words in the baby's vocabulary: hat, fan, glasses, hot.

Oh, and what's with the 10-year-old girls wearing string bikinis? Don't they have parents?

Constant state of flux

So much has changed since my last blog post! I worked 4 days last week, and it was very difficult for everyone involved. The end result was that my babysitter and I agreed that, since the work situation is completely different from what we had originally thought, we should dissolve our arrangement. So I now have no child care and thus cannot work outside the home. I've informed the powers at work that if I can't have something steady I can't work at all.

I feel quite sanguine about it all; I have felt for a while now that I am meant to move on to other things. And the babysitting arrangement always made me uncomfortable, as she is my neighbour and our kids are good friends, and I don't like to be in a "financial transaction" with a friendly neighbour -- too much can go wrong and very nearly did.

I really want to do the freelance writing thing, but several very promising leads have not yet produced any real work. Still, I feel that staying home is the best thing for me, especially for the summer, and I'm confident that I can drum up some work.

On the brighter side, we've rented a 31-foot trailer in a campground just outside Sandbanks Provincial Park for 7 days in August! Our first real family vacation! I'm so jazzed about this: The campground has a beach, boats (fishing), hiking and biking, a store and a common room with games and TV and stuff. Sandbanks is about a 5-minute boat ride or 10-minute drive away. Everyone I talk to tells me that Sandbanks is a fantastic vacation place for families, as close as we can get to an oceanfront experience in central Canada. We were lucky to get this trailer, as everything in the area gets booked 5 months in advance. Yay! No tent for me! Hooray for fridges and toilets and showers and pots and pans provided! All we have to bring is sheets and towels and clothes and food and fishing rods.

I think even I can manage that.

Probably a bad idea

The weekend featured 2 -- count 'em -- 2 birthday parties for my daughter. She's got 2 pretty distinct groups of friends, and I didn't want to do the home party with both groups together because I wanted to keep it fairly small and simple. So she took a couple of girlfriends from school out to play mini-putt, then they came back for a spot of lunch and cake. The next day was the backyard party with her neighbourhood friends. That was pretty simple, but felt hectic because I hadn't prepared enough ahead of time. But it was just chips and cheesies and peanut butter sandwiches and juice and some games and cake and presents. Fun.

Sleepless

I have been suffering one of my regular bouts of insomnia lately. This is partly due to the fact that I knew that I would have to work 4 days this week. That's very complicated because it's not a regular thing, so I have to make all kinds of arrangements to make sure everyone and everything is taken care of while I'm away at work. So my mind does somersaults. Insomnia is a part of my life, and I try to take it in stride, but it sucks because I do get cranky eventually.

Old-school

I saw my best friend from high school last week. She came over and visited a little. She's recently moved back to Montreal from the maritimes and seems (maybe) to want to be friends again. I would like that, but I'm not quite sure of what she wants. She was standoffish for a few years but that might have been due to a controlling boyfriend who is no longer around. Anyway, I'm taking a wait-and-see attitude with that, but I was certainly pleased to see her again.

In the end I didn't go to my high-school reunion, by the way. I meant to, but got confused as to the date and booked a babysitter for the wrong night! Oh well; I'm not sorry I missed it. I was ambivalent about it and probably screwed up in a subconscious attempt to subvert my own plan to go.

But I'm not supposed to be older and cooler

Just heard the first installment of Randy Bachman's new show while doing the dishes. The first anecdote he tells is from his early childhood, how he first got hooked on rock n' roll when he saw Elvis doing Tutti-Fruitti (not sure how it's spelled) on TV and gave up the violin and borrowed a guitar. Only much later did he learn from older, cooler people about the original Tutti-Fruitti, by Little Richard which sounds like a musical tiger when compared to Elvis's pussy-cat version.

I'm seeing a pattern here...

Caaa-naa-daaa, weeee love theeeee..

It's muggy and mosquitoey and I've had just about enough of this weather, much as I hate to complain...har har.

Some of my more loyal readers may remember a certain rant I posted about the CBC's Sounds Like Canada, hosted by the dreaded Shelagh Rogers. I basically said that she sucks as an interviewer and the show is a parade of lame ideas and so much feel-good content it makes you feel bad -- like, throwing the radio out the window bad.

Well, Shelagh has been replaced for 3 weeks by Jian Ghomeshi, who is rocking the joint. He is so good it makes me talk to the radio with encouraging and excited words, like "Way to go!" and "I love you Jian!" Some of the content is still the old SLC dreck, which is just unacceptable for a national show -- Their team needs a big shake-up -- but somehow Jian can make even that shit sound allright, sometimes by taking a funny ironic tone.

I like Jian; I've met him and hung out with him a little. He's cool and he's a good guy who's really smart. And he's young and branshay (to coin a phrase) and just the kind of host SLC should have had in the first place. I'm sure Shelagh's a great person, but she seems like even more of an old fart now that I've heard her bitchin' replacement.

Oh, but can I just say one negative thing about what I heard today on CBC? Randy Bachman, who is going to host his own disc show on the Corp this summer, was in to promote the show by talking about his favourite driving songs. Okay, a nice obvious theme. But one of the songs he chose was "I drove all night" by (according to him) Celine Dion! He didn't even know of the existence of the Cyndi Lauper and Roy Orbison versions! What's up with Randy Bachman, and how am I supposed to find his purported expertise credible now? Man, he just ruined what could have been a good relationship. Oh, by the way, Jian brought up the Cyndi Lauper version, and Bachman was like, "Uh, I didn't know about that". He was even talking like Celine Dion wrote the song, which anyone who knows anything should know is impossible. I like Celine Dion, don't get me wrong. But she doesn't write songs, and her cover, while acceptable, has nothing of the passion and plaintive yearning that Lauper and Orbison expressed through that song. Bad Randy Bachman, Bad!!