Me, me, me

March break

'Tis the week where all students get a week off to... to, er... study for exams and work on papers? Why, exactly, do my children have more time off school?

Not that I mind. In fact, the older ones are up north at my sister's place for two nights. I miss 'em! We went up yesterday to bring them and had a lovely afternoon and, as usual, a beautiful supper, effortlessly prepared by my phenomenal sister. I don't know how she does it, but we just seem to hang out and talk for hours and then she's suddenly pulling pans of hot delicious dishes out of the oven and taking in a tray of lemon blueberry tarts from the cold porch. I just drink red wine and marvel at her genius. Really, if I weren't so sated with good food and wine I might be envious of her domestic talents.

Watched an hour of the Oscars, which seemed curiously flat and dull, despite some interesting innovations in presentation. And my love for Chris Rock doesn't blind me to the fact that the Academy Awards is not the right venue for his talents. And what was with the set design? Hideously reminiscent of "Solid Gold" and other variety shows of the 70s. There were some awesome dresses though, and Johnny Depp to stir my heart (and other parts). Renee Zellwegger frightens me more every time I see her. Can rapid weight loss make you old and mentally unstable? Or is she drinking? After watching her "walk" across the stage I think the latter explanation might fit: She looked like I feel when I'm trying to appear as though everything's normal but I'm drunk as a skunk.

Surprise


At the risk of sounding hypocritical, I have to say that I disagree with our Prime Minister's decision to part ways with the U.S. on the issue of the Missile Defense Shield. Yes, I hate war-mongering and the idea of the militarization of space. But I have read a lot about war and hate, and in recent years I have awakened to the nasty idea that I may not always be safe and sound here in my peace-loving country. After 9/11 (yes, I have to invoke it in a discussion like this) I had ambivalent feelings about being next door to the U.S.. But mostly -- I hate to admit it -- I felt glad to have the big bruiser on the block living next door to me. I wanted to ply him with baked goods and mow his lawn just for the privilege of proximity and good, neighbourly feelings, just in case we were ever in danger from people who might like to take some of what Canada has enjoyed for so long.

Besides, as D. pointed out this morning, the whole missile defense thing might never even happen, so by agreeing to it we may have fostered good "we're in this together" feelings without risking too much.

But Paul Martin is feeling insecure in his minority government, and he wants to appease the majority of Canadians, who seem to be against the shield.

I just hope we never have occasion to regret our reluctance to sign on.

Food Stuffs

Did I tell y'all that I watched Supersize Me? It was much better (higher-quality) than I expected, and it was really very good, and scary even though I already knew what would happen to the dude as a result of eating nothing but **retch** McShite for a month.

I went to bed that night full of dread and kind of depressed, for my children and the world. My children eat really well though, and today my son told me that his friend brought "somesing reawwy gross" to school in his snack. When I asked what it was he said "McDonald's apples" (They're trying to provide "healthy choices" on their menus now, which is kind of funny). Okay, so it needs refining, but I'd say the brainwashing is going pretty well.

On the subject of nutrition, I took my baby for a checkup today and the doctor laughed at me for worrying about the fact that I give her citrus fruit and peanut butter even though she's not yet a year old. He said "I get people in here who put beer in their baby's bottle to put them to sleep. I'm not worried about your children's nutrition." Yikes.

Mmmm. Beeeer.

Amnesia

My high school reunion is approaching. It will be held in June and it's the 20th (!) anniversary. I went to the Class of '85 web site today to see if I could get some details and got sucked in to a couple of the alumni bios on the site. They had pictures. Well, you know what? I don't remember anyone! Why is that? Everyone else seems to remember people from high school; why not me? Is it selective amnesia? Is it because I'm practically blind and never wore my glasses when I was a teenager? Or was it because I was mean to people and my conscience won't allow me to remember it?

I'm afraid to go to this thing -- seriously. It will be like falling into a black hole and seeing a whole lot of strange faces, inexplicably curious and angry at the same time.

Glass half-full


The weekend was so-so. Saturday was a little difficult. I had what I call a "walking migraine", ie. a crushing headache with stomach upset and heightened sensitivity to sound and light and everything else, but something I've lived with for so long I don't go to bed when they strike anymore. That afternoon we went to my nephew's 2nd birthday party and had a very nice time. He is so damn cute, and I always love to see my family, and my dad gave me and my two sisters each a beautiful scarf before he left, which was sweet. The headache was dulled by the time of the party, but left me feeling like my head and the backs of my eyes had been scrubbed with a metal brush. That evening I watched Before Sunrise and loved it so much that I actually exclaimed "I love this movie!" aloud to nobody (D. was at hockey) while watching it.

Sunday was not bad: church and breakfast out and house cleaning. D. had to stand in line(s) to register the kids for summer soccer and then rush home and actually take them to soccer practice and do groceries before picking them up again. So I'd say I got the better deal yesterday.

But another weekend went by without cleaning my bedroom, returning empty cans and bottles, cleaning out the bookcase, clearing the top of the microwave (our exposed "junk drawer") and satisfying my neurotic desire to clear away the clutter. Seeing my sister's tidy, beautiful house didn't help my feelings of low self-esteem. But I'm happy for her :-)

Notes from the family zone


My baby loves to eat paper.
My son picks his nose constantly.

Neuroses and compulsive behaviours abound.
I miss being a kid.

Excuse me. I have to go and stick a paper clip in my ear.

I can't believe all the letters to the editor in The Gazette that back up Wal-Mart and deride unions as counter-productive, costly and ultimately bad for the consumer. Besides, as one genius wrote today, nobody is forced to work for Wal-Mart, right? Right. So because they couldn't get anything better they should just take any shit their employer decides to throw at them and shut the hell up.

The whole backlash against unions worries me. Unions not only fight for their members, they fight for all workers in a society. If it weren't for unions we would have longer work-weeks, lower pay, dangerous working conditions, and no recourse when employers stomp on employees' rights in their frenzy for "shareholder satisfaction".

In other words, we'd be like China and other Third-World countries.

And where does Wal-Mart buy most of its merchandise? You guessed it - China and Third-World countries. And if they were allowed to hire their "associates" there too, they would. Actually they are now, in Mexico.

Unions are not perfect, but I'm glad we've got 'em. Have you ever met an employer that cared about employee welfare for its own sake, never mind for the sake of loyalty and increased productivity? If they existed in retail, Wal-Mart likely drove them out of business.

Let's use our consumer clout and stop being brainwashed into thinking that he who delivers low prices is our friend and deserves our business. Give your business to companies that are part of your society -- or better yet, your own neighbourhood. Buy less and buy better. And fight the power!

Something a little different

Went out last night for the first time since the baby was born nine months ago. I was working, but it was at a taping of a spoken-word show at the Sala Rossa on St-Laurent. What a fun show! It was pretty fantastic, with some great poetry and music and a beautiful vibe in the (packed) house. I can't believe I'll get paid for it!

I was getting very anxious towards the end of the night, feeling that I had been away from my baby for too long. It's a strange thing, I know, and probably unwarranted, but I was glad to get home and see her shining face, sleeping peacefully. She's sick again, so I felt extra guilty going out, but she was okay. I was able to put her to bed myself before I left, so it was basically the perfect work gig.

She's not having such a good time these days. She's had two accidents and a long bout with one or several colds. Poor baby. She's always in good spirits though, thank de good lawd.

Endings and Beginnings - Part the Second

I still don't have a lot of time to post, but here's the upshot of my conversation with my boss:

I told her I didn't want to come back to the same job. She reacted extremely well, and offered me work in the field in which I wanted to get experience.

We talked about the possibilities, all of which are exciting and interesting.

I will work this coming Sunday night! and on very occasional one-day jobs until I go back for good (part-time) when my EI runs out in late April. This will allow me to get the baby used to being without me for a bit at a time.

Phew! Now, to find out about child care. Difficult? Daunting? Well, the same day I talked to two friends in the neighbourhood, one of whom offered to look after my daughter in my home, the other of whom recommended a home day-care with only 6 children just on the corner of my street. It's good, it's homey and loving, it's flexible, and it's cheap! So I now have two very good options just steps away from my house.

I still hate to leave my baby, even for a couple of days a week, but at least I can do this the way I need to, knowing all the while that I will be with her 5 out of every seven days. It's the best of both worlds.

The only downside is that I have given up a sure thing (my old job) for what is basically freelance work, with no real obligations from my employer. But that's the way I've worked for many years now, and I kind of like it. I like my freedom too, and there's plenty of time in the future for so-called "sure things".

I may even be able to go back to university in the next year or so. Who knows?

Endings and Beginnings - Part the First

It's amazing how much can change in your life in the space of one day...
but I don't have the time to write about all that right now.

I have a few comments on the finale of The Amazing Race:

All's well that ends well. although Kris and Jon didn't win, another deserving team did (deserving in that they played well and stayed strong). I get the feeling Freddy and Kendra don't really need the prize money, but money might have got in the way of Kris and Jon's future relationship, which has the potential to be a happily-ever-after. Rebecca and Adam stayed true to form, even fighting over the deep-dish pizza "challenge" at the very end: "I don't eat tomatoes!" "Well, I don't eat cheese and look at me!" etc.

I see that Boston Rob and Amber from Survivor All-Stars will be part of the next AR series. What the? I hate to say it, cuz they should just not be allowed (The Race should stay "amateur"), but I look forward to seeing their relationship in the "real" world.

Lots of inverted commas ("") eh? It's that kind of day.

Orientation

Tomorrow I have a telephone meeting with my boss to discuss a possible return to work in the next couple of months. This would only be part-time, like, two days a week, and this presents a bit of a problem because my job has become full-time in my absence. So what to do? I'm happy, actually, since I don't really want that same job back, and this gives me a reason to look at other options. We'll see what possibilities there are at my workplace, but I'm also going to look into outside possibilities..

Like what, you may ask (if you haven't nodded off by now). Well, freelance writing and editing would be very nice, but how to find the work? Also, I am still called, after all these years, back to university. I want to pursue a degree in art/design. To do this, however, I first need to take some art courses and put together a portfolio (all the while guaging my ability and desire to do this).

Do I sound like someone at a crossroads? Perhaps a little lost, at loose ends? I suppose I am.

In my experience that's a very exciting and creative place to be.

As Montreal as a...

...multi-million-dollar failed sports-event bid?
...multi-million-dollar cost overrun for a subway line?
...municipal zoning bribe?
...blue-collar thug?
...burst water main?

It's a good thing we have our "two-cheek kisses" and "joie de vivre". Otherwise we might feel bad about ourselves for a second. Being part of a "romance tradition" must go hand in hand with government corruption and ineptitude -- I mean hey, look at Rome!

At least we're not stiff and boring like those efficient Swiss people, eh?

And she's u....no... she's down!!!


Well, I had one day where I didn't have a sick child, and we took full advantage, spending the day up north at my sister's, skating and sliding and having a blast. But all this week again I have had a miserable little person around, keeping me indoors in this beee-yoo-tiful weather. Woe is me!

You see, I need to get out and move. It is the one absolute prerequisite to my mental and physical well-being, so it doesn't surprise me to hear on the news that "they" are saying that exercise is probably as effective as medication in alleviating depression. Yet it is rarely prescribed by doctors. Of course, how do you prescribe that? People have very different attitudes toward exercise, and it's hard to motivate yourself, particularly if you're depressed!

I'm convinced that an important part of a healthy and happy life is making walking (or cycling, or whatever) an essential part of your lifestyle, where you walk to do your errands, walk and talk after supper, walk to the park and the library and wherever else. This is very different from going to the gym to work out, or attending an exercise class, tho' those are good things to do. This is making exercise natural, an integral part of life, as it was meant to be (we are the first truly sedentary generation in human history).

Another important benefit that I derive from walking: I feel like I live in nature, in the world around me. I look at the stars and the ways the constellations change throughout the year, I observe the animals and birds and the way they behave in different seasons, I come to know the many types of snow and rain and fog. This also has got to be good for my mental health.

So I'm really looking forward to donning my hat and coat and cruising around NDG this evening, after the kids are in bed. It's what keeps me sane, or as close to sane as I get.

Yikes!

Aaah, how I love The Amazing Race. I've been watching it since the first series, and I still enjoy it just as much, tho' I'm not as blown away as I was the first few seasons.

Last night's episode, however, made me so tense it was ridiculous. My favourite couple, Kris and Jon (of course) had a series of bad cab rides that were so nerve-wracking I felt like changing the channel. I didn't however, because Shanghai is so incredibly fucking amazing, if you'll excuse my French. Also I kind of have a crush on Kendra, despite myself. She's pretty awful, and seems like a spoiled rich baby, but man is she pretty and her body is spectacular. Does this make me a lessie? Do people still say "lessie"? If I use the term at my high-school reunion will they think I'm cool? Do people still say "cool"?

Who says reality TV doesn't make you think deep thoughts.