Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Earth Day Parenting, year 'round
Lately I've had occasion to wonder about the influence I have on my children. My eldest child, a very grounded, self-confident little girl, has in the past few months started walking home from school with some friends. Of course I encourage this because it is good exercise, fun, transition time from school to home, etc. All good. Unfortunately, however, one boy has joined the group who is not so nice. He has done some things that make my daughter uncomfortable, like shouting things at people on the street, etc. Last week she came home and told me that on the way home she had been picking up garbage off the streets and sidewalks, and this boy and some of the others were teasing her about this -- mild teasing, but it still bugged her.
Now let me explain: From a very early age I have taught my kids to pick up litter off the street and put it in the garbage whenever possible. Even the littlest one does it as a matter of course. (They know not to pick up broken glass or dog poop or other gross or dangerous stuff.) Every Earth Day we take a big garbage bag and go out and clean a designated area of all its litter. This past weekend we did this on Sunday, and my kids made signs that they wore on their backs saying "We're picking up garbage for Earth Day!!" It was fun, and a couple of my daughter's friends even came along. We make a bit of a spectacle of ourselves, but that's part of the point, right? The best thing about it is thefun. The second-best thing is that it makes the kids see garbage on the street as something that isn't right and that should be cleaned up. That way they won't litter, and they will have the impulse to pick up and throw away.
The question I asked myself on Sunday night was this: Am I setting my children up for a lifetime of mockery and derision by encouraging this behaviour? I know that not everyone does it, but I don't care about that. Should I care, on their behalf? Am I raising my kids to be wierdos?
I think the answer is that I'm raising them by imparting my values to them, which is really the only way I know how to be a parent. This kind of geeky stuff is what I think is right, and dammit it's fun, too! We love our Earth Day outings! I also want them to think "Who cares what those other kids say?" and do what they think is right. And that's what my daughter told me yesterday when she came home from school: She had walked to school and back with a big garbage bag and had picked up trash along the way (for Earth Day). When I asked her if her friends had helped she said no. When I asked if they teased her she said yeah, kind of, but not much. Then she said "But I don't really care what T______ says. He's just a jerk anyway." to which I say, Yeah. You go.
Lately I've had occasion to wonder about the influence I have on my children. My eldest child, a very grounded, self-confident little girl, has in the past few months started walking home from school with some friends. Of course I encourage this because it is good exercise, fun, transition time from school to home, etc. All good. Unfortunately, however, one boy has joined the group who is not so nice. He has done some things that make my daughter uncomfortable, like shouting things at people on the street, etc. Last week she came home and told me that on the way home she had been picking up garbage off the streets and sidewalks, and this boy and some of the others were teasing her about this -- mild teasing, but it still bugged her.
Now let me explain: From a very early age I have taught my kids to pick up litter off the street and put it in the garbage whenever possible. Even the littlest one does it as a matter of course. (They know not to pick up broken glass or dog poop or other gross or dangerous stuff.) Every Earth Day we take a big garbage bag and go out and clean a designated area of all its litter. This past weekend we did this on Sunday, and my kids made signs that they wore on their backs saying "We're picking up garbage for Earth Day!!" It was fun, and a couple of my daughter's friends even came along. We make a bit of a spectacle of ourselves, but that's part of the point, right? The best thing about it is thefun. The second-best thing is that it makes the kids see garbage on the street as something that isn't right and that should be cleaned up. That way they won't litter, and they will have the impulse to pick up and throw away.
The question I asked myself on Sunday night was this: Am I setting my children up for a lifetime of mockery and derision by encouraging this behaviour? I know that not everyone does it, but I don't care about that. Should I care, on their behalf? Am I raising my kids to be wierdos?
I think the answer is that I'm raising them by imparting my values to them, which is really the only way I know how to be a parent. This kind of geeky stuff is what I think is right, and dammit it's fun, too! We love our Earth Day outings! I also want them to think "Who cares what those other kids say?" and do what they think is right. And that's what my daughter told me yesterday when she came home from school: She had walked to school and back with a big garbage bag and had picked up trash along the way (for Earth Day). When I asked her if her friends had helped she said no. When I asked if they teased her she said yeah, kind of, but not much. Then she said "But I don't really care what T______ says. He's just a jerk anyway." to which I say, Yeah. You go.
