Thursday, October 30, 2003
I must be lazy
Generally speaking, I don't think of myself as a lazy person, because when I need to be, I can be super-efficient and pretty tireless. Then I collapse. But when necessary I'm a friggin' dynamo! Honest!
I would never have said I was a high-energy sort of person. But really I'm beginning to think I'm actually lazy as well.
Why have I come to this conclusion? Well, I've long suspected that my desire for a "balanced" life, where home and personal life have equal or more time than work/professional life is actually a deep resentment at having to work for others. Also, I admire people with hobbies, who create and do wonderful things in their spare time, and enjoy themselves immensely doing it. Yet I don't have a hobby, despite repeated attempts to cultivate one. (discarded hobbies: needlepoint, knitting, gardening, blogging, ukelele-playing, choir, and more!)
Let's be honest here: I don't have a hobby because I'd rather sit on my fat ass and read a book or watch TV, god help me, than do something more constructive.
I seem to be doing things all the time, so much so that I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. But at the end of the day I don't have much to show for it except a tidy house (% of day spent tidying: ~30) and clean, happy kids with homework done and lunches made. Big deal! A monkey can take care of its babies and keep house (well you know what I mean). Why haven't I accomplished more? Why don't I know how to read and play music? sew? knit? make bookshelves?
Why aren't I writing, at the very least? It's my dream, supposedly. Why am I doing nothing about it?
There can be only one answer: I must be lazy.
Don't hate me.
Generally speaking, I don't think of myself as a lazy person, because when I need to be, I can be super-efficient and pretty tireless. Then I collapse. But when necessary I'm a friggin' dynamo! Honest!
I would never have said I was a high-energy sort of person. But really I'm beginning to think I'm actually lazy as well.
Why have I come to this conclusion? Well, I've long suspected that my desire for a "balanced" life, where home and personal life have equal or more time than work/professional life is actually a deep resentment at having to work for others. Also, I admire people with hobbies, who create and do wonderful things in their spare time, and enjoy themselves immensely doing it. Yet I don't have a hobby, despite repeated attempts to cultivate one. (discarded hobbies: needlepoint, knitting, gardening, blogging, ukelele-playing, choir, and more!)
Let's be honest here: I don't have a hobby because I'd rather sit on my fat ass and read a book or watch TV, god help me, than do something more constructive.
I seem to be doing things all the time, so much so that I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. But at the end of the day I don't have much to show for it except a tidy house (% of day spent tidying: ~30) and clean, happy kids with homework done and lunches made. Big deal! A monkey can take care of its babies and keep house (well you know what I mean). Why haven't I accomplished more? Why don't I know how to read and play music? sew? knit? make bookshelves?
Why aren't I writing, at the very least? It's my dream, supposedly. Why am I doing nothing about it?
There can be only one answer: I must be lazy.
Don't hate me.
# posted by becca : 1:46 PM
