Monday, October 27, 2003
Is hurt
Headaches. The bane of my existence. They suck the joy out of life and make the smallest tasks difficult and depressing.
For the past two months I've had a headache every day without fail. Sometimes it goes away for a short time after I take acetominophen, but it only comes back a few hours later. The worst part (I think) is that I have them in the middle of the night, and I lie there in pain trying to sleep, at my lowest ebb, trying not to cry with self-pity and sheer exhaustion.
My poor husband is very patient, but I know he must get tired of having a wife who is always in a fog of pain and self-focus. I try to bring myself out of it for my kids, and to do my share of the work of running the house and caring for our children, but I'm just not myself, and it shows.
A couple of weeks ago my daughter asked me to draw pictures of three things I love and three things I don't like. One of the things I didn't like was headaches, which I represented by a sad face with pain lines coming out of its head. When my daughter saw it she looked at me with such a sweet, compassionate look on her face and she leaned over and kissed me. Even my four-year-old son asks me if I have a headache when I look tired.
I'm sick and tired of it. I've lived with these damn things my whole life, as far as I can remember, and I'm fed up.
I'm generally a very happy, contented person, and when I feel good I love everything about life. All the more reason to wish these accursed headaches would leave me and let me be myself. I know I'm lucky to be healthy in general, and these are a good reminder of what people with chronic pain or illness have to endure. I feel great compassion for them, and for the people who love them.
Headaches. The bane of my existence. They suck the joy out of life and make the smallest tasks difficult and depressing.
For the past two months I've had a headache every day without fail. Sometimes it goes away for a short time after I take acetominophen, but it only comes back a few hours later. The worst part (I think) is that I have them in the middle of the night, and I lie there in pain trying to sleep, at my lowest ebb, trying not to cry with self-pity and sheer exhaustion.
My poor husband is very patient, but I know he must get tired of having a wife who is always in a fog of pain and self-focus. I try to bring myself out of it for my kids, and to do my share of the work of running the house and caring for our children, but I'm just not myself, and it shows.
A couple of weeks ago my daughter asked me to draw pictures of three things I love and three things I don't like. One of the things I didn't like was headaches, which I represented by a sad face with pain lines coming out of its head. When my daughter saw it she looked at me with such a sweet, compassionate look on her face and she leaned over and kissed me. Even my four-year-old son asks me if I have a headache when I look tired.
I'm sick and tired of it. I've lived with these damn things my whole life, as far as I can remember, and I'm fed up.
I'm generally a very happy, contented person, and when I feel good I love everything about life. All the more reason to wish these accursed headaches would leave me and let me be myself. I know I'm lucky to be healthy in general, and these are a good reminder of what people with chronic pain or illness have to endure. I feel great compassion for them, and for the people who love them.
# posted by becca : 12:49 PM
