Friday, October 01, 2004
Reunion musings
I recently found out that plans are underway for our 20-year high school reunion in 2005. This of course leads to the question: Should I go?, which leads to the more philosophical Why would I go?
My high school years were not happy ones. My parents were separating, my older sisters were in trouble, had babies and were involved with drugs and bikers, and my parents didn't seem to like me all that much (and I guess the feeling was mutual). I descended into a depression that lasted many months where I didn't even speak; I can remember the feeling of trying to talk to my friends and feeling as though my mouth was cemented shut.
But sometimes I had fun, and I certainly did a lot of "self-discovering" for want of a better term. I was a punk and had a blast on the local hard-core scene, going to shows and hanging out at The Midway, The Rising Sun and Foufounes (when it was subversive). I was on a long-term self-destruction tip which fortunately was mostly confined to weekends and summers. I was a pretty cool kid with a lot of very cool friends who are still very cool today.
The fact is, all the good stuff took place outside of high school, and though my best friends went to the same school, we were a small and rather insular circle. I regret this, and wish that I had been more involved in extracurricular activities, but I wasn't really in a position to do that stuff. Too troubled and not really aware of or encouraged to try things out.
So why would I go to a reunion, except to say "....and you are???" and show off how well I turned out in spite of a pretty rocky adolescence? Well, I am curious about a handful of people who were really pretty cool. And I'm curious about the culture of the people with whom I went to school: What were we like as a mini-generation and how has our culture evolved and manifested itself in the adult world? Will it all be mini-van moms and materialism, or are we a group that cares about the larger issues and politics and sprituality and the world around us? Also, what's the cute valedictorian doing now, the one whom I sexually harassed in my own embarrassed way back then?
I don't know if I'll go. It might be fun, and if it's not I can always leave, right? I'll let you know when I decide.
I recently found out that plans are underway for our 20-year high school reunion in 2005. This of course leads to the question: Should I go?, which leads to the more philosophical Why would I go?
My high school years were not happy ones. My parents were separating, my older sisters were in trouble, had babies and were involved with drugs and bikers, and my parents didn't seem to like me all that much (and I guess the feeling was mutual). I descended into a depression that lasted many months where I didn't even speak; I can remember the feeling of trying to talk to my friends and feeling as though my mouth was cemented shut.
But sometimes I had fun, and I certainly did a lot of "self-discovering" for want of a better term. I was a punk and had a blast on the local hard-core scene, going to shows and hanging out at The Midway, The Rising Sun and Foufounes (when it was subversive). I was on a long-term self-destruction tip which fortunately was mostly confined to weekends and summers. I was a pretty cool kid with a lot of very cool friends who are still very cool today.
The fact is, all the good stuff took place outside of high school, and though my best friends went to the same school, we were a small and rather insular circle. I regret this, and wish that I had been more involved in extracurricular activities, but I wasn't really in a position to do that stuff. Too troubled and not really aware of or encouraged to try things out.
So why would I go to a reunion, except to say "....and you are???" and show off how well I turned out in spite of a pretty rocky adolescence? Well, I am curious about a handful of people who were really pretty cool. And I'm curious about the culture of the people with whom I went to school: What were we like as a mini-generation and how has our culture evolved and manifested itself in the adult world? Will it all be mini-van moms and materialism, or are we a group that cares about the larger issues and politics and sprituality and the world around us? Also, what's the cute valedictorian doing now, the one whom I sexually harassed in my own embarrassed way back then?
I don't know if I'll go. It might be fun, and if it's not I can always leave, right? I'll let you know when I decide.
# posted by becca : 6:13 AM
