Me, me, me

Facing the Music

Well, it has to be done. I must get myself a bathing suit.

I go to the pool every day with my kids, and sit by the side of said pool, fully dressed, dangling my feet in the beautiful cool blue water. I get up and my ass is soaking wet and my skirt (it's usually a skirt) is all baggy and out of shape. (Or is it my skirt that's wet and my ass that's out of shape? Six of one, half a dozen bla bla bla...)

The other day I decided to wear an old suit that I found in a drawer and go in with the baby. We had so much fun and she giggled madly as I spun her around and plunked her in the water repeatedly. But then the time came to get out of the pool and lo, I suddenly remembered why I had buried that bathing suit in my underwear drawer. It becomes transparent when wet -- an interesting feature in a bathing suit!

I calmly faded back into the water and sent my big daughter to get me a towel in which to wrap my shame.

Now I must face the sullen insults of the changing room mirrors and try on bathing suits in an actual store. As our long-gone comic-strip friend Cathy used to say:

**sweats profusely ** "Gack!"