Friday, May 26, 2006
Job Ghost
Yesterday I got an e-mail, one that was sent to all the members of a writer's group to which I belong. The subject line referred to a great job, so I took a look at it. I was taken aback to see that it was my old job, posted and looking for the perfect person to fill it! I looked at the posting for it and if it hadn't been my old job, I would have salivated all over my laptop. Great salary, part-time, literary and artsy-type stuff, flexible and fun and high-profile. (not that "high profile" matters, but it makes the job look great on a resume, and hey, who doesn't want to be cool at parties when people ask what they do?)
I felt so weird about it all day. I mean, we need money. Badly. I'm looking for work, and so is my husband. The sane and responsible thing would have been to stay in that job. It's a really good job. My first response when I saw that it was posted was Why didn't they ask me to do it? But after a little thought I realized that, paranoia aside, they probably didn't ask me because I told them a year ago that I didn't want to do that job. But I still felt strange, guilty and insulted...and at the same time GLAD because in the end I'm happy that I'm not doing that job. I left because I felt strongly that it was taking me in the wrong direction, and I try to follow my gut. Finances be damned!
Yesterday I got an e-mail, one that was sent to all the members of a writer's group to which I belong. The subject line referred to a great job, so I took a look at it. I was taken aback to see that it was my old job, posted and looking for the perfect person to fill it! I looked at the posting for it and if it hadn't been my old job, I would have salivated all over my laptop. Great salary, part-time, literary and artsy-type stuff, flexible and fun and high-profile. (not that "high profile" matters, but it makes the job look great on a resume, and hey, who doesn't want to be cool at parties when people ask what they do?)
I felt so weird about it all day. I mean, we need money. Badly. I'm looking for work, and so is my husband. The sane and responsible thing would have been to stay in that job. It's a really good job. My first response when I saw that it was posted was Why didn't they ask me to do it? But after a little thought I realized that, paranoia aside, they probably didn't ask me because I told them a year ago that I didn't want to do that job. But I still felt strange, guilty and insulted...and at the same time GLAD because in the end I'm happy that I'm not doing that job. I left because I felt strongly that it was taking me in the wrong direction, and I try to follow my gut. Finances be damned!