Me, me, me

This week I had the chance to ride the emotional rollercoaster that is the "Big Job Interview".

A bit of background: A few months ago I decided that I wanted to take my career in a new direction and set my sights on a certain job. It's something I've always wanted to do but have always been terrified to try. So I said to myself that I would send out applications, but as I didn't see myself as fully qualified to do it yet, I thought that I wouldn't be seriously considered and I would try to get my qualifications and reapply as necessary (getting closer to the goal bit by bit).

Well, on Sunday last I got a call from one of the A-list places I'd applied to, asking me to come in for an interview. You know, like a 5-person committee interview where you have to prepare a presentation ahead of time. A scary fucking interview.

I panicked. I freaked. Countless times I was on the verge of calling back and telling them it was all a big mistake and I have no business even thinking about doing this job. And then I called on some good friends who are already in the field and asked for their help and advice. And I worked and prepared what the potential employers wanted. In preparing I realized that maybe, just maybe, I could do this job. Then I went to the interview.

I had a new blouse and earrings on. That was good. I was on time and even went to the bathroom first. That was good. And the interview went well, maybe even really well, if my judgement can be trusted. I certainly felt that unbelievably good feeling of walking out of an interview and going "Yeee!"

I don't expect to get the job. The fact is that there were many more qualified applicants. But I didn't screw up the interview, and that's a pretty good feeling, especially after the dread and fear.

I'll let you know when I hear anything.