Friday, October 29, 2004
Bought a poppy from a veteran at the local mall this afternoon. I asked him if he would tell me about the medals he was wearing. He served for four years in the European theatre, starting in 1939. After he pinned my poppy on I told him that I was glad that he'd made it home in one piece. He smiled and looked me in the eye and said, quite casually, "Yeah, but I was nuts." There's an interesting story there. I'd love to take some vets out for a beer sometime. I wonder what they'd say if I popped in at the local legion hall? It's something D. and I have always wanted to do. Maybe when we get a little more free of babies and children. In the meantime, I will go along with U. when she and her Brownie troop join in a Remembrance Day parade and ceremony at the Cenotaph near here. These old guys won't be around for much longer. I think we should honour them and hear their stories while we can, and be glad there aren't more veterans from the younger generations. I hope there won't be in my children's lifetimes either.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Social Misfittery
Went to a friend's playgroup's little halloween party with the baby this morning. It was fun and very cute, and seems like a nice group of people. I was awkward as usual, not talking much to anyone and leaving early to go for a walk with the F-ster. I'm so bad in those situations -- where everyone knows everyone else except me. What's worse is that people tend to interpret my shyness as snobbishness or whatever, instead of just plain shyness. I guess I don't come across as just plain shy, but that's what I am. Okay, maybe I have the odd thought like "Why does this woman need to talk so freakin' loud?" or "Man that's an ugly kid", but doesn't everyone? It doesn't mean I don't want to get to know you! Honest!
Went to a friend's playgroup's little halloween party with the baby this morning. It was fun and very cute, and seems like a nice group of people. I was awkward as usual, not talking much to anyone and leaving early to go for a walk with the F-ster. I'm so bad in those situations -- where everyone knows everyone else except me. What's worse is that people tend to interpret my shyness as snobbishness or whatever, instead of just plain shyness. I guess I don't come across as just plain shy, but that's what I am. Okay, maybe I have the odd thought like "Why does this woman need to talk so freakin' loud?" or "Man that's an ugly kid", but doesn't everyone? It doesn't mean I don't want to get to know you! Honest!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
The Brain's got Heart
Interesting article on the Op-Ed page of the Gazette today. It's by Ariel Dorfman and it's called "Is Kerry too Smart?" (or something close to that; I don't have it in front of me).
Anti-intellectualism is a serious problem in the American electorate, a fact of which everyone in the world seems to be aware but most most Americans. In a way, Clinton (who has just made a campaign appearance for Kerry. Go Bill!, er, I mean, Go John!) was the perfect democratic president: smart as hell, from a poor southern background, and just a little bit edgy and fun to watch (unlike say, Carter, who is good and smart and southern, but sooo earnest).
I still can't believe that Bush got elected after Clinton. Talk about your pendulum swing.
I genuinely like Kerry's qualities of moral and intellectual courage. I'm sorry that he's rich as Croesus, but happy that that didn't stop him from fighting in Vietnam, and then fighting against it after he saw what was going on over there. I don't agree with everything he says and has done in the senate, but he seems to be a thoughtful, intelligent man who lives by his convictions but is open-minded enough to say "we were wrong". I don't imagine that he's the saviour of America, but I honestly think that he would make an honourable, respectable president who could begin to bring America into the wider world. For the first time ever, I will be nervous on an American election night. If Kerry were to lose, I would count it as a genuine loss of an opportunity for positive change. If he were to win, I wouldn't envy him the mess he's taking on. I hope he has a really stellar team around him.
I guess I'm hoping that the uneducated and the anti-intellectuals don't get the leader they deserve this time.
Interesting article on the Op-Ed page of the Gazette today. It's by Ariel Dorfman and it's called "Is Kerry too Smart?" (or something close to that; I don't have it in front of me).
Anti-intellectualism is a serious problem in the American electorate, a fact of which everyone in the world seems to be aware but most most Americans. In a way, Clinton (who has just made a campaign appearance for Kerry. Go Bill!, er, I mean, Go John!) was the perfect democratic president: smart as hell, from a poor southern background, and just a little bit edgy and fun to watch (unlike say, Carter, who is good and smart and southern, but sooo earnest).
I still can't believe that Bush got elected after Clinton. Talk about your pendulum swing.
I genuinely like Kerry's qualities of moral and intellectual courage. I'm sorry that he's rich as Croesus, but happy that that didn't stop him from fighting in Vietnam, and then fighting against it after he saw what was going on over there. I don't agree with everything he says and has done in the senate, but he seems to be a thoughtful, intelligent man who lives by his convictions but is open-minded enough to say "we were wrong". I don't imagine that he's the saviour of America, but I honestly think that he would make an honourable, respectable president who could begin to bring America into the wider world. For the first time ever, I will be nervous on an American election night. If Kerry were to lose, I would count it as a genuine loss of an opportunity for positive change. If he were to win, I wouldn't envy him the mess he's taking on. I hope he has a really stellar team around him.
I guess I'm hoping that the uneducated and the anti-intellectuals don't get the leader they deserve this time.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Oy
Had to take a little time-out due to a nasty stomach flu that lasted from Wednesday night until last night, 5 days total! It was gross, but man it's good to sleep without guilt. Anyway I'm back now, tho' a little shaky and dehydrated (a condition that makes breastfeeding difficult; this was my biggest worry while I was sick.)
Life in the wide world goes on much as it has this past age. Except that my kids have changed their minds about Halloween costumes. This is not a surprise, of course. Me boy is back to his original plan of being a ghost (I love this kid!), and now U. wants to be a scarecrow. I can handle that.
Yesterday we got a tip-off that there was going to be a little "Halloween parade" down the main street in the village, so the kids went through the tickle-trunk and came up with costumes. U. wore the aforementioned sheep costume, which was a little tight, but what the hell, and me boy went as Frankenstein's monster, with a good mask and a checked shirt over his fall jacket. They looked great for last-minute costumes, and D. donned a chimpanzee mask and took them off to the parade. I sat down to rest and five minutes later they were back! When they got to the parade it turned out to be for pets! Their enthusiasm was not diminished. Wee boy suggested that we parade around the park instead. If I weren't sick, we would have, but D. took them pumpkin picking instead.
I missed out on a lot of fun, beautiful fall weather and five days of Halloween preparation that is an essential part of the yearly round for me. But on the bright side, I got to spend five days in bed with my sweet little baby and so far, noone else in the family has caught this nasty bug. Fingers crossed.
In more consequential news... I think Bush suspects that his time is up. Why else would he ram through billions of dollars in corporate tax cuts in the last days of an election campaign? What voters are going to like that move? He and his "friends" are raiding the pantry before he gets the boot. I'm afraid it's all going to make Kerry look bad when he moves in to a trashed White House.
Had to take a little time-out due to a nasty stomach flu that lasted from Wednesday night until last night, 5 days total! It was gross, but man it's good to sleep without guilt. Anyway I'm back now, tho' a little shaky and dehydrated (a condition that makes breastfeeding difficult; this was my biggest worry while I was sick.)
Life in the wide world goes on much as it has this past age. Except that my kids have changed their minds about Halloween costumes. This is not a surprise, of course. Me boy is back to his original plan of being a ghost (I love this kid!), and now U. wants to be a scarecrow. I can handle that.
Yesterday we got a tip-off that there was going to be a little "Halloween parade" down the main street in the village, so the kids went through the tickle-trunk and came up with costumes. U. wore the aforementioned sheep costume, which was a little tight, but what the hell, and me boy went as Frankenstein's monster, with a good mask and a checked shirt over his fall jacket. They looked great for last-minute costumes, and D. donned a chimpanzee mask and took them off to the parade. I sat down to rest and five minutes later they were back! When they got to the parade it turned out to be for pets! Their enthusiasm was not diminished. Wee boy suggested that we parade around the park instead. If I weren't sick, we would have, but D. took them pumpkin picking instead.
I missed out on a lot of fun, beautiful fall weather and five days of Halloween preparation that is an essential part of the yearly round for me. But on the bright side, I got to spend five days in bed with my sweet little baby and so far, noone else in the family has caught this nasty bug. Fingers crossed.
In more consequential news... I think Bush suspects that his time is up. Why else would he ram through billions of dollars in corporate tax cuts in the last days of an election campaign? What voters are going to like that move? He and his "friends" are raiding the pantry before he gets the boot. I'm afraid it's all going to make Kerry look bad when he moves in to a trashed White House.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Time, tricks and treats
Another week begins. Time is flying past me and through me so quickly I feel like I'm spinning...
We've got to start working on Halloween costumes! Yikes! I think I might cheat and buy most of the elements of the costumes this year. My daughter wants to go as Little Bo-Peep with her little brother and sister as her sheep. Worryingly, (is that word?) her little brother is fine with this. I'm glad, because I just happen to have an adorable and very warm sheep costume ready-made.
Yay! I lurve Halloween...
Another week begins. Time is flying past me and through me so quickly I feel like I'm spinning...
We've got to start working on Halloween costumes! Yikes! I think I might cheat and buy most of the elements of the costumes this year. My daughter wants to go as Little Bo-Peep with her little brother and sister as her sheep. Worryingly, (is that word?) her little brother is fine with this. I'm glad, because I just happen to have an adorable and very warm sheep costume ready-made.
Yay! I lurve Halloween...
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Sticking with it
A new friend asked me yesterday about my parents. My parents are divorced; they separated when I was sixteen. She told me that her parents divorced when she was six, and we talked about this for a while. She said to me, "We're lucky -- eh? -- to have good strong relationships." And I said yes. I know that I am lucky, but it got me thinking: I never really think that way, that my marriage will last where my parents' failed. I have never really allowed myself to believe that it will last, even though that is my wish and -- now that we have children -- my intention.
My parents' marriage was awful; violent, cruel, nasty way too much of the time. There were good times, of course, but mostly it seems to have been a mistake, made by two people who didn't esteem and like each other the way you need to if you're going to be married. I knew this when they split up, and was glad it was over. But the split was still a shattering blow to my teenage psyche. Partly because they did a lot of things wrong during the break-up, but also because my parents' marriage and our family, screwed up as they were, were my paradigm, my frame of reference for my own identity. And I think that is still true, only now the break-up is part of my identity and I find it hard to truly believe in my heart that I won't end up the same way. D's parents had a very happy marriage up until his Dad died 6 years ago. For him our marriage everlasting is an article of faith, and he is teaching me over time that it is possible to grow old together, not in separate homes and meeting only at family gatherings.
In 2005 we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. A few weeks ago I mentioned this to my mom and she said "That's wonderful! By ten years I already wanted out of my marriage" (It lasted 25 years). I looked over at Dave and thought, no, I've never even had anything even remotely resembling the desire to get out of this.
A new friend asked me yesterday about my parents. My parents are divorced; they separated when I was sixteen. She told me that her parents divorced when she was six, and we talked about this for a while. She said to me, "We're lucky -- eh? -- to have good strong relationships." And I said yes. I know that I am lucky, but it got me thinking: I never really think that way, that my marriage will last where my parents' failed. I have never really allowed myself to believe that it will last, even though that is my wish and -- now that we have children -- my intention.
My parents' marriage was awful; violent, cruel, nasty way too much of the time. There were good times, of course, but mostly it seems to have been a mistake, made by two people who didn't esteem and like each other the way you need to if you're going to be married. I knew this when they split up, and was glad it was over. But the split was still a shattering blow to my teenage psyche. Partly because they did a lot of things wrong during the break-up, but also because my parents' marriage and our family, screwed up as they were, were my paradigm, my frame of reference for my own identity. And I think that is still true, only now the break-up is part of my identity and I find it hard to truly believe in my heart that I won't end up the same way. D's parents had a very happy marriage up until his Dad died 6 years ago. For him our marriage everlasting is an article of faith, and he is teaching me over time that it is possible to grow old together, not in separate homes and meeting only at family gatherings.
In 2005 we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. A few weeks ago I mentioned this to my mom and she said "That's wonderful! By ten years I already wanted out of my marriage" (It lasted 25 years). I looked over at Dave and thought, no, I've never even had anything even remotely resembling the desire to get out of this.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Voter TV
I know what I will be watching tonight: PBS Frontline's doc on the two candidates in the US election. Frontline continues to earn my respect and admiration with its research, balance and respect for the intelligence of its viewers. Count on this to be an informative look at what makes these two men tick.
I can't remember when I've been so interested in politics as I am in this election campaign. Polls indicate that America is split in two, and I believe it. Even the pop culture reflects this: Last night's WIFE SWAP was a perfect example of how different people can be and still be typically American. One couple were animal-rights supporters and obviously educated (though thoroughly annoying, spoiled and unbelievably lazy), the other were gun-totin', flag-wavin' rednecks (intolerant, judgemental and incredibly selfish) You know who each couple is voting for without it ever coming up, and they couldn't be farther apart in their understanding of one another and the world.
The best illustration was the scene where the animal-lovin' woman was saying a prayer over the mounted deer-head that she was having removed from the gun-lovin' guy's house, and he interrupted the prayer with a huge belch as he drank beer from a can behind her.
Never the twain shall meet. I don't envy whoever has to govern that nation, but I'm glad that so many widely differing views are allowed to coexist and find expression there. It's what makes the country great.
I know what I will be watching tonight: PBS Frontline's doc on the two candidates in the US election. Frontline continues to earn my respect and admiration with its research, balance and respect for the intelligence of its viewers. Count on this to be an informative look at what makes these two men tick.
I can't remember when I've been so interested in politics as I am in this election campaign. Polls indicate that America is split in two, and I believe it. Even the pop culture reflects this: Last night's WIFE SWAP was a perfect example of how different people can be and still be typically American. One couple were animal-rights supporters and obviously educated (though thoroughly annoying, spoiled and unbelievably lazy), the other were gun-totin', flag-wavin' rednecks (intolerant, judgemental and incredibly selfish) You know who each couple is voting for without it ever coming up, and they couldn't be farther apart in their understanding of one another and the world.
The best illustration was the scene where the animal-lovin' woman was saying a prayer over the mounted deer-head that she was having removed from the gun-lovin' guy's house, and he interrupted the prayer with a huge belch as he drank beer from a can behind her.
Never the twain shall meet. I don't envy whoever has to govern that nation, but I'm glad that so many widely differing views are allowed to coexist and find expression there. It's what makes the country great.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Old and New
Took a trip to my old neighbourhood today. It's not far away, just a bus ride, really, but I have only recently figured out a way to take the bus with the baby. Well today is such a gorgeous day we (baby and I) decided to go and cruise around Sherbrooke St. west, where D. and I (and the 2 older kids) lived until three years ago this September. The area was featured in the Gazette earlier this week, as a revitalized strip that seems to be leaning toward the funky, organic, granola-ish side of business. This is right up my alley, of course, and I feel as though I have helped it get that way, in my own small way, by supporting the first new businesses of that type that came along while we lived there: The cooperative store, the art gallery, the organic bakery. Now there is a Mexican restaurant, which is funny because D. and I have been saying for years that a mexican restaurant would be the perfect thing to open in that area. There is also a funky bohemian cafe (not a franchise) and some fun second-hand and first-hand stores. Fortunately the old stores and restos are still there too, and the Iranian, Indian, Korean, and many West Indian restaurants seem to be thriving in the new atmosphere. The two bars still seem to have the same afternoon alcoholic patrons as always, but then I wouldn't want to see them driven away. All in all it felt good, a perfect mix of the old and the new: M'Lady Lingerie meets Shaika cafe. I miss living there a little, but as I walked down my street heading home I felt very relaxed and a smile came to my face. I think I'm quite content just to visit the old 'hood.
Took a trip to my old neighbourhood today. It's not far away, just a bus ride, really, but I have only recently figured out a way to take the bus with the baby. Well today is such a gorgeous day we (baby and I) decided to go and cruise around Sherbrooke St. west, where D. and I (and the 2 older kids) lived until three years ago this September. The area was featured in the Gazette earlier this week, as a revitalized strip that seems to be leaning toward the funky, organic, granola-ish side of business. This is right up my alley, of course, and I feel as though I have helped it get that way, in my own small way, by supporting the first new businesses of that type that came along while we lived there: The cooperative store, the art gallery, the organic bakery. Now there is a Mexican restaurant, which is funny because D. and I have been saying for years that a mexican restaurant would be the perfect thing to open in that area. There is also a funky bohemian cafe (not a franchise) and some fun second-hand and first-hand stores. Fortunately the old stores and restos are still there too, and the Iranian, Indian, Korean, and many West Indian restaurants seem to be thriving in the new atmosphere. The two bars still seem to have the same afternoon alcoholic patrons as always, but then I wouldn't want to see them driven away. All in all it felt good, a perfect mix of the old and the new: M'Lady Lingerie meets Shaika cafe. I miss living there a little, but as I walked down my street heading home I felt very relaxed and a smile came to my face. I think I'm quite content just to visit the old 'hood.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Becca in the 'hood
I'm starting to settle into this stay-at-home thing, and it's niiice. I've started looking through cookbooks as I sip my morning coffee, planning the evening meal. Then I get any missing ingredients while I'm out on my morning walk. This is the way I prefer to shop and cook (and eat). It limits visits to big, non-local stores and it means I cook something I feel like cooking rather than scrambling at the last minute and cooking something really bleh. It also means that I occasionally succumb to the temptation of the phenomenal almond croissants at my local bakery, but only occasionally, so it's cool. Also, there's nothing like it for getting to know your neighbourhood and the people in it. I do miss work sometimes, but... naaah. Not really.
I'm starting to settle into this stay-at-home thing, and it's niiice. I've started looking through cookbooks as I sip my morning coffee, planning the evening meal. Then I get any missing ingredients while I'm out on my morning walk. This is the way I prefer to shop and cook (and eat). It limits visits to big, non-local stores and it means I cook something I feel like cooking rather than scrambling at the last minute and cooking something really bleh. It also means that I occasionally succumb to the temptation of the phenomenal almond croissants at my local bakery, but only occasionally, so it's cool. Also, there's nothing like it for getting to know your neighbourhood and the people in it. I do miss work sometimes, but... naaah. Not really.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Lanterns in the rain
If you haven't been, or even if you have, may I suggest that you get down to the Botanical Gardens and see the Magic Lanterns at the Chinese Garden there.
We went on Saturday, got completely soaked in a torrential downpour, and still felt awed by the beauty of this incredible garden at night with its glowing pavillions and lanterns floating and swaying in the breeze (or gale-force winds in our case). We intend to go back on a nicer day with my eldest child, who was away at Brownie camp this weekend and missed the lanterns.
How we missed that little girl! Camp was a great adventure for her, but she was exhausted when she returned. A good night's sleep has helped, but it will probably take her 3 or 4 days to recover completely. She's a person who really needs her sleep and she's quite a bear when she doesn't get it. Honestly, I don't know where she gets that from.
If you haven't been, or even if you have, may I suggest that you get down to the Botanical Gardens and see the Magic Lanterns at the Chinese Garden there.
We went on Saturday, got completely soaked in a torrential downpour, and still felt awed by the beauty of this incredible garden at night with its glowing pavillions and lanterns floating and swaying in the breeze (or gale-force winds in our case). We intend to go back on a nicer day with my eldest child, who was away at Brownie camp this weekend and missed the lanterns.
How we missed that little girl! Camp was a great adventure for her, but she was exhausted when she returned. A good night's sleep has helped, but it will probably take her 3 or 4 days to recover completely. She's a person who really needs her sleep and she's quite a bear when she doesn't get it. Honestly, I don't know where she gets that from.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Reunion musings
I recently found out that plans are underway for our 20-year high school reunion in 2005. This of course leads to the question: Should I go?, which leads to the more philosophical Why would I go?
My high school years were not happy ones. My parents were separating, my older sisters were in trouble, had babies and were involved with drugs and bikers, and my parents didn't seem to like me all that much (and I guess the feeling was mutual). I descended into a depression that lasted many months where I didn't even speak; I can remember the feeling of trying to talk to my friends and feeling as though my mouth was cemented shut.
But sometimes I had fun, and I certainly did a lot of "self-discovering" for want of a better term. I was a punk and had a blast on the local hard-core scene, going to shows and hanging out at The Midway, The Rising Sun and Foufounes (when it was subversive). I was on a long-term self-destruction tip which fortunately was mostly confined to weekends and summers. I was a pretty cool kid with a lot of very cool friends who are still very cool today.
The fact is, all the good stuff took place outside of high school, and though my best friends went to the same school, we were a small and rather insular circle. I regret this, and wish that I had been more involved in extracurricular activities, but I wasn't really in a position to do that stuff. Too troubled and not really aware of or encouraged to try things out.
So why would I go to a reunion, except to say "....and you are???" and show off how well I turned out in spite of a pretty rocky adolescence? Well, I am curious about a handful of people who were really pretty cool. And I'm curious about the culture of the people with whom I went to school: What were we like as a mini-generation and how has our culture evolved and manifested itself in the adult world? Will it all be mini-van moms and materialism, or are we a group that cares about the larger issues and politics and sprituality and the world around us? Also, what's the cute valedictorian doing now, the one whom I sexually harassed in my own embarrassed way back then?
I don't know if I'll go. It might be fun, and if it's not I can always leave, right? I'll let you know when I decide.
I recently found out that plans are underway for our 20-year high school reunion in 2005. This of course leads to the question: Should I go?, which leads to the more philosophical Why would I go?
My high school years were not happy ones. My parents were separating, my older sisters were in trouble, had babies and were involved with drugs and bikers, and my parents didn't seem to like me all that much (and I guess the feeling was mutual). I descended into a depression that lasted many months where I didn't even speak; I can remember the feeling of trying to talk to my friends and feeling as though my mouth was cemented shut.
But sometimes I had fun, and I certainly did a lot of "self-discovering" for want of a better term. I was a punk and had a blast on the local hard-core scene, going to shows and hanging out at The Midway, The Rising Sun and Foufounes (when it was subversive). I was on a long-term self-destruction tip which fortunately was mostly confined to weekends and summers. I was a pretty cool kid with a lot of very cool friends who are still very cool today.
The fact is, all the good stuff took place outside of high school, and though my best friends went to the same school, we were a small and rather insular circle. I regret this, and wish that I had been more involved in extracurricular activities, but I wasn't really in a position to do that stuff. Too troubled and not really aware of or encouraged to try things out.
So why would I go to a reunion, except to say "....and you are???" and show off how well I turned out in spite of a pretty rocky adolescence? Well, I am curious about a handful of people who were really pretty cool. And I'm curious about the culture of the people with whom I went to school: What were we like as a mini-generation and how has our culture evolved and manifested itself in the adult world? Will it all be mini-van moms and materialism, or are we a group that cares about the larger issues and politics and sprituality and the world around us? Also, what's the cute valedictorian doing now, the one whom I sexually harassed in my own embarrassed way back then?
I don't know if I'll go. It might be fun, and if it's not I can always leave, right? I'll let you know when I decide.
